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CNN Correspondent Fights of Raccoon at White House


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#1 LFC

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Posted 07 October 2020 - 11:09 AM

This just feels soooo 2020. Yes, there's video.

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It’s been a hectic few days for news reporters—so please spare a thought for CNN correspondent Joe Johns who, while trying his best to update the nation on the president’s condition despite a lack of clear information coming from the White House, was ambushed by a raccoon. Seconds before his New Day slot, Johns was attacked from behind by the sneaky critter, prompting him to roar and throw some kind of cloth covering at it to frighten it off. After successfully completing his news update, Johns can be heard muttering about “Fricking racoons, man,” and revealing he’s previously been ambushed by the creature. “It always comes around right before I’m about to go on TV,” complained the newsman.

" 'Individual conscience' means that women only get contraceptives if their employers, their physicians, their pharmacists, their husbands and/or fathers, pastors, and possibly their mayors, Governors, State Secretaries of Health, Congressmen, Senators, and President all agree that in that particular case they're justifiable." --D.C. Sessions

"That's the problem with being implacable foes - no one has any incentive to treat you as anything more than an obstacle to be overcome."

"The 'Road to Serfdom' is really all right turns." --Progressive Whisperer

""The GOP ... where every accusation is also a confession." --Progressive Whisperer

#2 baw1064

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Posted 07 October 2020 - 11:36 AM

No doubt Trump will ascribe the raccoon's presence to the White House's previous occupant.
"strained legal arguments without merit and speculative accusations, unpled in the operative complaint and unsupported by evidence"

#3 andydp

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Posted 07 October 2020 - 11:38 AM

View Postbaw1064, on 07 October 2020 - 11:36 AM, said:

No doubt Trump will ascribe the raccoon's presence to the White House's previous occupant.

A masked marauder attacking a white person. Then again, Pres Trump may like it more since the racoon attacked a reporter.
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"I can't go out because of the virus" sounds whiny and boring. I'm going with: "I've sworn an oath of solitude until the pestilence is purged from the lands." because it sounds more valiant and heroic. As a bonus, people might think you're carrying a sword.

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#4 golden_valley

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Posted 07 October 2020 - 12:26 PM

That raccoon is seeking on air time...maybe it needs to tell us something important.

#5 Rue Bella

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Posted 07 October 2020 - 12:28 PM

Did that WH raccoon test negative... and if so, ...when?
What is wrong with these people? ~ PG

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#6 LFC

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Posted 07 October 2020 - 01:37 PM

View Postbaw1064, on 07 October 2020 - 11:36 AM, said:

No doubt Trump will ascribe the raccoon's presence to the White House's previous occupant.

Well if you look at the last 4 letters of its name. Ask any MAGAt.


View Postgolden_valley, on 07 October 2020 - 12:26 PM, said:

That raccoon is seeking on air time...maybe it needs to tell us something important.

Those squeaks and growls translate to "I'ma let you finish but..."
" 'Individual conscience' means that women only get contraceptives if their employers, their physicians, their pharmacists, their husbands and/or fathers, pastors, and possibly their mayors, Governors, State Secretaries of Health, Congressmen, Senators, and President all agree that in that particular case they're justifiable." --D.C. Sessions

"That's the problem with being implacable foes - no one has any incentive to treat you as anything more than an obstacle to be overcome."

"The 'Road to Serfdom' is really all right turns." --Progressive Whisperer

""The GOP ... where every accusation is also a confession." --Progressive Whisperer

#7 baw1064

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Posted 07 October 2020 - 01:56 PM

"He's my raccoon. The raccoons love me! Nobody has done more for raccoons than I have!"
"strained legal arguments without merit and speculative accusations, unpled in the operative complaint and unsupported by evidence"

#8 Beelzebuddy

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Posted 07 October 2020 - 04:43 PM

An interstellar hit squad?

Posted Image
Fear Sells!

Cui bono?

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#9 Rue Bella

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Posted 07 October 2020 - 05:55 PM

View PostBeelzebuddy, on 07 October 2020 - 04:43 PM, said:

An interstellar hit squad?

No, one of the Proud Boys up from the swamp.
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#10 HockeyDon

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Posted 08 October 2020 - 10:24 AM

Posted Image
Well, fuck.

How can I be expected to distinguish BS from reality when so much of my reality is utter BS?!





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